Working Vs. Stay At Home Moms: The Backlash?
To begin with, please, if you haven’t read the original piece (or even if you have and don’t remember it exactly) read it here: Working Vs. Stay at Home Moms
Ok, now that our memories are refreshed, let me address something that I had THOUGHT was clear in the original article. If you’re individual life situation doesn’t allow you to be a stay at home mom, then THAT’S FINE. I stressed countless times in the article this exact point, but unfortunately some people either don’t know how to read or choose not to. Regardless, the main reason that I decided to dredge this wonderful topic back up is because apparently I have a hate group regarding my articles. This doesn’t really bother me. Most ignorant people don’t like me, and that’s fine. The feeling is mutual. However, since this comment in particular (via a facebook conversation) about this particular article came up, I thought that I would ask you all, loyal readers, your input. Here it goes:
“Somebody needs to tell that fool that instead of spending time writing idiotic blogs and posting crap on facebook he should spend it with his kid (side note: Gage is almost always sleeping when I’m doing my extracurricular activities. Also, you will all be happy to know that Gage’s first word is “Daddy”. It must be from all that darn neglect.) and act like a grown up!!! He’s an idiot…” There are some other things regarding peoples personal information and names that I won’t publish, but you all get the gist.
My question is this: what exactly did I write that was so offensive? Was my own personal thoughts, that a mother, if GIVEN THE CHOICE, should choose to stay at home with her child so that he/she is receiving the care and guidance that that child deserves? I went out of the way, in several parts of this article, to be sure to articulate that working mothers who juggle a career (ESPECIALLY single mothers) deserve a special place in heaven. I don’t understand, people. I really don’t. By the way, thanks to all of you readers, my “idiotic blogging” has made it’s way into the local college newspaper several times, has been featured in the Post-Tribune (a local paper) and I now occasionally write for the Northwest Indiana Times. Thank you again, loyal readers, for reading my useless opinions. At least I’m stimulating some peoples brains. Or rather, those that care to have their brains stimulated at all.
Leave a Reply
Mar 12th 2010 • 16:03
by Mandy
What is most offensive here is your inability to recognize what is offensive.
In your first article you suggested that if a child has a behavioral problem, one can assume they are the product of a broken home with a single working mother. In my experience, screwed up people come from all walks of life, including the utopia in which you believe your son is being raised.
Considering that your child is still an infant, you might just want to wait untl he grows up and make sure you never have to bail him out of jail for date-rape or embezzlement or serial killing before you start making sweeping generalizations about how the rest of societies children are being raised.
If you can so proudly submit an opinon that discounts those who don’t have the ‘perfect’ upbringing as ‘the brat down the street’ then you should be able to handle the criticism you deserve.
This post is nothing but a self-serving whine fest. Get over it.
Mar 12th 2010 • 21:03
by Travis
Ohhh…I think I’ve figured out what got everyone in such a tizzy. “Mandy”, if I’m wrong here, by all means let me know, but I’m assuming that you know me and my family personally and are one of those that were locally pissed off about this article. When I talked about the “brat down the street”, I was in NO way referring to the single mother mentioned in the beginning of the article (which you will remember I actually sang praises about since she is doing well as a single mother). I was referring to the child whom I had mentioned in an article a couple of weeks before hand: the one that had beaten my dog with a stick and then flat out lied about it while his mother stood there with a stupid expression on her face, not knowing what to do. THAT was the single mother whom’s child I called a brat. I never once, in any of the articles, made any sort of comment that only children of single parents end up doing horrible/stupid things. What I DID say, was that having one of the parents at home ensures that your child is being brought up the way that you would like him/her to be brought up. I don’t believe in “utopias”, by the way, thats more of a stupid liberal ideal. I’m a realist. And relistically, people are stupid, so that is why I would prefer my child not be under the care of what would more than likely be a stupid person. It’s kind of like how I feel about abortion: I don’t understand it. I couldn’t imagine somebody else raising my child, just like I couldn’t imagine my wife aborting a child.
Mar 14th 2010 • 17:03
by Mandy
Why would you assume, “Travis”, that I know you personally just because I find your thought process lacking? I’m guessing that it’s because you are surprised, as am I, that your readership extends outside of your immediate family.
I was referred to this site by a friend and I’ve had my fill of it. If I want to read the obtuse, counter-productive thoughts of a pompous conservative ass I’ll find one with something interesting to say.
I concede my first point, though why you would assume readers would be familiar with your entire body of work is beyond me, but it wasn’t the only offensive remark.
You equated a child’s value monetarily which is not surprising coming from a conservative but offensive nonetheless.
You suggested that it is selfish for a mother to choose to keep her career instead of staying at home with her child. Why not suggest the same to a father?
Don’t answer that, I have no intention of returning and giving any kind of hit counter the impression that you attract an audience.
Enjoy your freedom of speech.
Mar 14th 2010 • 20:03
by Travis Gearhart
Although you have no intention of returning (thank you, by the way) your kind of comments are entirely counter-productive towards intelligent debate. Let me check a second…yep, still says Matters of OPINION at the top of the page, and that is exactly what I give on this site: my opinion. I don’t recall placing any sort of “monetary value” on a child. The only monetary value that I spoke of had to do with a) the supposed million dollars that every child is worth to his/her parent and b) the ammount of money it takes to raise a family (which, if you had read more than one fucking sentence you would read that I respect very much single mothers or dual parent families that scrape to make end meat). I find nothing offensive about EITHER article, and quite frankly, I think you probably made a stupid decision regarding your family and your family’s monetary needs and probably feel badly about the decision and so you are projecting your problems onto my site. If you aren’t a conservative, then yes, you probably won’t care for my site. I’m not sure who recommended it to you, but feel free to let them know that they gave you a poor recommendation.
Mar 14th 2010 • 20:03
by PROUD stay at home mother.
Mandy,
I don’t think that Travis’s thought process was lacking what so ever. I surely am not surprised that Travis’s readers are outside of his immediate family. Due to the fact, that what Travis writes about is very highly intelligent. If you aren’t a conservative, I don’t see why you would even bother reading what he posts. Maybe, you should just take your liberal ass someplace where your input is actually wanted. I feel that Travis made the point that he wanted to get through with this post. By no means did he put a “monetary value” on his child or anybody else’s child. I believe that if you ACTUALLY read what he said said which was theoretically speaking ” I implore all of you to ask yourself how much your child is worth to you. If the answer is 10 gajillion dollars, then I ask you this as well: who would you trust to watch 10 gajillion dollars for you? Very few.” Basically, he was saying is your child’s life worth having him stay with people you don’t even know? a person you think you know and think that you can trust but somehow something goes terribly wrong. I’ve seen many MANY instances where mothers leave their children with a friend and the friend does horrible things to the child. I know damn well that I wouldn’t even want to chance that. If you are a mother, at least a mother that cares at all. I think you would understand that. I would put my career aside any day, because that would put my mind at ease. You can always find another job, but can you replace that beautiful baby that you created? Absolutely NOT. When you say ” Why not suggest the same to the father?” I’m sure Travis would LOVE to stay at home with his son everyday [ just like any other father would] but it’s just not realistic unless his wife makes more money than he does and in this economy realistically it isn’t going to happen. I think you are missing the point that he is trying to make anyways, which is exactly as quoted by Travis himself. ” That children whom have strong parental influences turn out better”. I’m glad you have no intention of returning to this site because quiet frankly your responses aren’t really wanted and I sure as hell don’t want to read them.